Rereading High School

Books that make the high school canon enter a kind of purgatory. They never go out of print, but they’re forever read by the wrong people. When F. Scott Fitzgerald was writing about fraying marriages in the Jazz Age, or when Ernest Hemingway was writing about war and impotence and alcoholism, they weren’t writing for kids. Even all those high school novels with kids in them — A Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Huck Finn, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man — were written for grownups, not teenagers, and certainly not written as primers for close reading analysis and fodder five-paragraph essays. We think we know these books because we read them as children. But how well do we really know them?

Over the past few years, I started revisiting some of these books, and I can assure you that they’re not the same. Books that felt profound back then — The Old Man and the Sea, Of Mice and Men, Lord of the Flies — now come off as a bit pat, a little too schematic. Others have deepened. I liked The Great Gatsby just fine the first time around, but it means a lot more when you’ve worked in Manhattan for a couple decades and been through a divorce. Holden Caufield is easier to take when you’re not his age and going to public school. Heart of Darkness means more when you’re reading it in a damp hotel room in India.

More recently, I got curious about the canon as a whole, as it was served to me during my high school years. This was 1988 to 1993. During those years, the Berlin Wall fell, and then the Soviet Union, and the Tiananmen Square democracy movement flowered and died. Anita Hill confronted Clarence Thomas, and Los Angeles burned. America had its first full-fledged war in a Muslim country. Bill Clinton was elected president. There was, as yet, no Internet, and post-cold war globalization was just getting started. Edward Said’s Orientalism was a mere decade old, and I doubt any of my high school English teachers had heard of it.

The books we read reflected the values and views of people on the far side of those events, mostly left-leaning English and education majors who graduated from college in the fifties and sixties, before the campus upheavals at the end of the decade. We read novels that showcased the plight of the poor. We were introduced to cultures beyond our own, but almost always through white male voices: Steinbeck on indigenous Mexicans, Hemingway on Caribbeans, Pearl S. Buck on the Chinese. Astonishingly, I can recall only one work we read by a writer of color, Loraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun. We read dystopian novels, antiwar novels, novels that showcased the plight of the poor. We read John Hersey’s Hiroshima, a brave bit of programming for a cold war-era high school curriculum. There was some emphasis on formal modernism, writers like Joyce and Beckett, but nothing too outlandish or difficult. We read a received canon of English-language and American literature, of course: Beowulf, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Hawthorne, Melville, Twain. There was some awareness of feminism, enough that we read A Doll’s House and Kate Chopin and Willa Cather. World literature went as far as Europe and no farther: Kafka, Remarque, Cervantes. Post-colonial literature did not exist for us.

This is not the canon I would put together today, but it was formative for me. What was actually in it? How might these books come across in 2021 to a guy in his forties who lives in South Korea and has a master’s degree in cultural studies? Will I still hate A Separate Peace? Will I still like Grendel? I’ve bought a stack of these old warhorses, and I’ll post about them as I read them. Stay tuned!

Ordinary world

The other day, I took my daughter out to practice riding her bike. We’ve got the training wheels up high now, and she’s starting to get the feel of riding on two wheels. As we rode around the apartment complex, we saw two little girls playing by the fish pond. My daughter just stopped and stared for a long time. She’s not in school right now, and she hasn’t been able to meet any friends for a while. I wanted so much to tell her to go talk to those kids, to say hi and see if they wanted to play. But of course that’s not something we can do right now.

Anxious times

My birthday arrives at a strange and anxious time. A year ago, when I talked about dancing in the wind, I couldn’t have foreseen the typhoons and tornadoes to come (including, here in Korea, some literal typhoons, like the one that blew through yesterday).

A year ago, we became a family: my wife, my daughter, and my mother-in-law all moved in together. The months after that were challenging. We traveled to the US and had a wedding here in Korea, and it was all pretty overwhelming. I was still learning how to be a family man — I was single a long time — and at times I fell short of what my wife and daughter needed from me. After those difficult and tumultuous months, we really hoped that we could settle into a normal routine. We wanted things just to be ordinary for a while.

No such luck.

I hope that in another year, things are better for the world. I hope my daughter is in school, and we can travel, or just go out for a really good pizza (we miss you, Brick Oven Pizza!) without fear. I hope my own country is in a better situation.

Cultivating the oasis

For this year, as plain as it may seem, my hope is just to be ordinary: an ordinary dad in an ordinary family in an ordinary world. I think a lot of us are hoping for some version of that. I want to take my wife out on a date at a cozy restaurant where the murmur of other voices isn’t threatening. I want to get my daughter up on two wheels. I want to see her in school and playing with friends.

These days, I’m reading books about child development and about marriage. I am trying to learn my role and do it better. I can’t know what the world will be like in another year, but I can do my best to make a happy home within it, for myself and for those I love and am responsible for. I’m grateful to have this oasis, and I will cultivate it even as the storms blow past.

COVID-19 in Korea Useful Links

Here’s a list of useful links I’ve found for information on dealing with the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak in South Korea. I hope to keep this updated. Some links are in Korean, so it’s best if you add a translation extension such as Google Translate to your browser.

If you have more useful links, please mention them in the comments!

Last update: March 2, 2020

Medical

Corona 19 Screening Clinic and Relief Hospital (Korean)
Full, searchable list from the KCDC.

Government

Emergency Ready App
Korean government app that provides emergency alerts in English.

Itaewon Global Village Center
Doing a heroic job of translating government alerts.

Korean Centers for Disease Control Coronavirus-19 page
Korean-only (for useful info, anyway), but with links to daily briefings in English and possibly with more coming.

KCDC latest stats
Updated twice daily, at 10 am and 6 pm, as far as I know. (So you don’t sit there hitting Refresh all day.)

KCDC FAQ (Korean)
Helpful if you can translate it.

Korea Immigration
You should know this one if you’re a foreigner living here, but they have press releases on issues like the visa extension due to the coronavirus.

World Health Organization Coronavirus website
Generally straightforward information from the global organization.

News

Korea Herald Coronavirus Page
Detailed coverage with a map, global stats, and more, in English.

Yonhap News English
Lots of news outlets in Korea, but everyone seems to copy from Yonhap. They seem mainstream and legit, without any obvious partisan bias.

Arirang News
For those who like their English-language Korea news televised.

New York Times Coronavirus
The Gray Lady has been providing clear, detailed coverage, with reporters on the ground in a lot of places. Scroll down for their feed of the latest updates.

Travel

Global travel restrictions from IATA
Tip: Run a browser search for your relevant country.

Maps

Corona Map (Korean)
Popular local map that lets you zoom in and get pretty granular.

Johns Hopkins global map
Fear-inducing UX design, but a quality global map.

Statistics

wuhanvirus.kr
A poorly named site with a ton of statistics. I haven’t checked the sources, but it seems solid.

Corona-Live
Good stats and news feed, available in English.

A Decade by the Numbers

Places lived: 5
Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn
Seocho-gu, Seoul
Seocho-gu, Seoul, same building but different apartment
Bundang-gu, Seongnam City, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

Places worked: 2
Google and Samsung

Samsung job offers rejected: 1

Samsung job offers accepted: 1

Countries visited: 21
United States, India, Ghana, Hungary, Austria, Mexico, China, South Korea, Costa Rica, Israel, Trinidad and Tobago, Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia, Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, Indonesia, Singapore, Japan, Sri Lanka

Countries visited for the first time: 15
United States, India, Mexico, China, South Korea, Japan were all repeats.

Countries lived in: 2

Percent of decade spent outside the US: 43

Houses purchased: 1

Cars purchased: 1

Master’s degrees acquired: 1

Landmark courses attended: 8 (including 1 in Thailand)

Alcoholic beverages consumed: 0

Family members born: 5
1 nephew, 3 nieces, and my daughter, though I didn’t know her at the time

Marriages: 1

Happy New Year!

Trunk dancing

In Korean dance, every movement, down to the fingertips, originates in the core of the body, an extension of the breath. This is called trunk dancing, as opposed to Indian or Southeast Asian styles of dance, whose isolated movements are known as branch and stem dancing.

I learned this idea years ago from Dong-Won Kim, a member of Yo-Yo Ma’s Silk Road Ensemble. It comes to mind today, on my birthday, as I go with my family — wife, daughter, mother-in-law — to see Ma perform the complete Bach solo cello suites in Seoul. We do things together now, our movements swaying from the common core that is our family.

The roots

A year ago on my birthday, I wrote that it should be a year of putting down roots in Korea. A week ago, my new family moved in with me. And on Friday I’ll take my wife and daughter to America to meet my parents and siblings and all the kids. (Also to go to Disneyland, because Disneyland!)

Now that the roots are in and deepening, this can be the year of strengthening the trunk, of growing upward and outward together, of learning to sway in tandem. This is our new dance.

In practical terms, that means finishing all the little things still to be done in the apartment — organizing, hanging the pictures — and finding our new patterns together. These days, my daughter is learning to sleep by herself in her own bed instead of with her grandma, which means my mother-in-law can sleep on her own, in her room. I’m learning what all the stuff is in the back of the fridge, and how to cook again, this time for four. We’re drinking egg creams together.

It also means having our wedding, which comes in a couple of months. We’ll celebrate our new marriage, and our new family, with the people in our lives. From the roots, we will blossom outward.

Wind

Tonight’s concert was supposed to be outdoors, in the park, but Typhoon Lingling made other plans, and the performance was moved indoors. The storm passed yesterday afternoon, scattering leaves, but we watched the trees in our neighborhood dance and sway and hold strong.

This is the dance I’m learning. This is the family we’re creating. Winds will come, and we will dance in them. In this year of my life, that’s what I want to do. I want to delight in the dance.

And tonight, that means enjoying Bach’s sarabandes and courantes and gigues and allemandes. This will be my daughter’s first classical concert. I hope her concentration holds. And if it doesn’t, we can always leave early. The movement will come from the core. The trunk will drive the dance.

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware

Three years ago today, I moved to Korea to find my home. When people asked my why Korea, I didn’t have an answer. But now I know. I had to come to Korea to find my home because this is where she was waiting for me.

In a few weeks, I’ll be moving to the new apartment in the suburbs that I’ll be sharing with my wife (the wedding is in November, but whatever), our five-year-old daughter, and my mother-in-law. I didn’t know when I came to Korea that this is where I was headed. I didn’t know, during all those tutoring sessions and summer immersion programs and language courses and master’s degree classes, that I was doing it all so I could explain the Tooth Fairy to my daughter in a moment of crisis. As my grandfather said, money for education is never wasted.

Early in our relationship, my wife started saying to me that she wanted to be my home. I’m not sure either of us fully understood what she meant. She saw I was lonely and that my family was far away, and she wanted to cook for me and invite me over on holidays so I’d be comfortable. That was all.

But underneath was something deeper. She was also looking for her home — looking for the happy family she dreamed of but had almost given up hope of ever having. That we would find these things in each other is still surprising.

Creating a blended family isn’t always easy (even if the name makes it sound like some kind of smoothie). It has taken tremendous trust from my wife to let me get close to her daughter. Our new family is a work in progress, as I guess every family always is.

But it turns out I’m pretty good at this dad stuff. And I really, really like it. I like sitting on the floor playing Legos with my little girl, singing “Peanut, peanut butter, and jelly,” holding her hand when we cross the street. I like coming home to my family in the evening, hearing my daughter call out for me when I come through the door, and letting the frustrations of the workday melt away as she shows me one of her penguins (nine so far) or plays “Jingle Bells” on the piano for me. Last Sunday we were all together in the kitchen, listening to Joni Mitchell and making donuts, and it was the best place to be in the world.

This is a new journey that’s just beginning. I don’t know where it will take us. But wherever we go, I’ll be home.

Fool Me Once…

So there’s this guy. He lives way up above us. He has a white beard. We call him Father. He watches you all the time, and eventually, as the world grows cold and dark, he rewards those who have been good and punishes those who have been bad.

Just kidding! That whole Santa Claus thing is a myth! It’s just a story we tell kids to trick them into behaving and to have a little fun. We totally lied to you! The rewards came from us the whole time.

However …

There’s this other guy who lives above us and has a white beard, and we call him Father, and he watches you all the time, and eventually, as darkness closes in upon you, he will judge you. If you’ve been good, he will give you an eternal reward. If you’ve been bad, he will give you an eternal punishment. We have no evidence — unlike the other guy, you can’t even see this guy at the mall — but you must believe us this time. It’s super, super important and totally not a trick to get you to behave!

(From the outside, Christianity is weird.)

Pneumonia

Nebulizing in the Emergency Room at Gangnam Severance Hospital.

A few weeks ago, I was struck with a bout of pneumonia. After several days of fever and burning lungs that antibiotics couldn’t tackle, my girlfriend took me to the Emergency Room at Gangnam Severance Hospital on a Saturday night. They sent me home with a bag of drugs.

But by Sunday noon the fever was back up to 103.2 F (39.5 C). This time my girlfriend couldn’t come to me, but she called an ambulance, and back to the ER I went. I spent the next 28 hours there, and didn’t leave the hospital until the following Sunday. I spent another week at home recovering.

I’ve wanted to write something about what I went through, but I’m finding it difficult. Sickness, like dreams, is mostly interesting to the person experiencing it. Unpleasant as it was, it was nothing more than a few days in the hospital, a few days of feeling rotten and then less rotten. That it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through is maybe evidence of how lucky I’ve been in life. It was horrible, but I’m not sure it was interestingly horrible.

I’m also tired of thinking about it. I want to be well again, and mostly I am, though my lungs are still recovering. Maybe later, when this is fully behind me, I’ll be able to turn my hospitalization into amusing anecdotes. For now, it’s enough to say that it happened and that I’m OK again. And if you’re looking for things to do in Seoul, I don’t recommend pneumonia.

Dust

I tend to write about things in Korea that I like, or at least find interesting. It’s a fascinating place, and I’m in love with it.

But it does have its downsides. And this terrifying image of a face in a gas mask represents one of the worst: Korea’s fine dust.

Mise mise, named after the fine dust (mise meonji), is Korea’s most popular app for tracking air quality, and it says the fine dust is up to 171 micrograms per cubic meter, the ultra-fine dust up to 115. This is not good, not good at all. The air today was thick and visible, a fine gray-white murk, like breathing the Gowanus Canal. It wasn’t pleasant to be out in it. My throat’s been sore all day. When I stepped outside, I wore a face mask, and not one of those cute fabric fashion ones either, but something rated for keeping out fine dust. This is no joke.

I keep hoping this will get better as if by magic, but it probably won’t. Korea’s doing some things to mitigate the dust, but a lot of it comes over from China, and I think we’re a long way from solving this problem. It’s worst in the spring, but it’s not spring now, and the air is terrible, and the scary gas mask face. 

Autumn Leaves at Buseoksa

I’m writing at a difficult moment. Today I woke up to the news that eleven Jews were murdered in Pittsburgh. I want to share this nice, happy thing in my life here in Korea because there is beauty and life in the world and I am committed to enjoying it. My first visit to Korea came less than a month after the 9/11 attacks, and many people asked me whether I still planned to come here and teach English for a year. My answer now was my answer then: as much as possible, I don’t ever want to let terrorists decide for me what to do or how to live.

Busloads of apples

Apple farmers selling their wares at the Yeongju Apple Festival.

Apple farmers line the streets, old ladies with paring knives handing out samples, crates of their wares spread out for sale. Young men with batons direct traffic into special designated parking areas, while bus after bus rumbles in, belching out Korean tour groups led by tinny amplified voices. There’s a stage set up and rows of white plastic chairs, but at noon the Yeongju Apple Festival is still not quite underway.

There are a lot of ways to know you love a person, but one way is when she looks at the Apple Festival, looks at you, and suggests you get out quickly and go somewhere else.

Autumn leaves

We’d come to Yeongju and Buseoksa Temple for the autumn leaves.  We drove down on a Friday afternoon of spattering rain and dropping temperatures, crossing the Sobaeksan range in deep fog, but when we arrived at Road to Buseoksa Pension, the stars had come out. We were the only customers at a nearby restaurant, eating a dinner of fish and tofu while the owners and their friends grilled off-the-menu samgyeopsal in the other room.

In the morning we headed up to the temple, which boasts Shilla stone monuments and statuary, a Goryeo wooden building that’s among the oldest still standing in Korea, and spectacular views. It was interesting to see the unusual architecture of the Goryeo main temple hall, which has support structures that are related to, but different from, the typical Joseon Dynasty style you see nearly everywhere in Korea. Because there was so much destruction during the Imjin War in the late 16th century, examples of earlier architecture are rare. 

Autumn view from Buseoksa Temple.
The main temple hall, which dates back to the Goryeo Dynasty.
Shilla stone Buddhas.
More lovely fall colors from the temple.

We were lucky to get to the temple early. By the time we were leaving, around lunchtime, the busloads of tourists had turned this quiet autumnal refuge into a circus, or really just a low-grade Korean amusement park without any rides. It was time to get away.

Mountain mushrooms

Not far away, near Punggi, across from the Sosu Seoweon (Confucian academy), we saw a sign for a restaurant and decided to pull in. It was styled like an old hanok, and we were shown to a private room.

As we were entering, I saw — and smelled — a bubbling dish being brought to the next room over, a heady, rich brew of earthy mushrooms. “Whatever that is,” I said, “we’re ordering that.”

Wild mushroom jangol.

We had lucked into the last available seating at Dageum (다금), an apparently famous restaurant about which I can find nothing online. Not long after we arrived, two buses showed up, but with our private room, we hardly noticed the crowds. Each dish is handmade, and the man who runs the place goes out into the mountains to gather the wild ingredients. In the jangol, you could taste and savor each different type of mushroom: this one purple and astringent, that one almost like kelp, another woody and chewy. We had the jangol plus a wild mushroom pancake, plus a bunch of side dishes, all for 40,000 won.

Wild mushrooms gathered from the mountains.

We rounded out the day with a visit to Sosu Seowon, Korea’s oldest Confucian academy. Unlike Buddhism, Confucianism is no longer an active faith, and these places, which were always austere, are now a bit sad too. But the autumn leaves were just as beautiful there, and you could feel some sense of what it must have been like for the scholars to observe the passing of the seasons in this beautiful place dedicated to learning and practicing the virtuous life.

And then we drove home, back to Seoul, through the traffic and the city lights and up into an apartment tower, where we ordered in Chinese food.