Three years ago today, I moved to Korea to find my home. When people asked my why Korea, I didn’t have an answer. But now I know. I had to come to Korea to find my home because this is where she was waiting for me.
In a few weeks, I’ll be moving to the new apartment in the suburbs that I’ll be sharing with my wife (the wedding is in November, but whatever), our five-year-old daughter, and my mother-in-law. I didn’t know when I came to Korea that this is where I was headed. I didn’t know, during all those tutoring sessions and summer immersion programs and language courses and master’s degree classes, that I was doing it all so I could explain the Tooth Fairy to my daughter in a moment of crisis. As my grandfather said, money for education is never wasted.
Early in our relationship, my wife started saying to me that she wanted to be my home. I’m not sure either of us fully understood what she meant. She saw I was lonely and that my family was far away, and she wanted to cook for me and invite me over on holidays so I’d be comfortable. That was all.
But underneath was something deeper. She was also looking for her home — looking for the happy family she dreamed of but had almost given up hope of ever having. That we would find these things in each other is still surprising.
Creating a blended family isn’t always easy (even if the name makes it sound like some kind of smoothie). It has taken tremendous trust from my wife to let me get close to her daughter. Our new family is a work in progress, as I guess every family always is.
But it turns out I’m pretty good at this dad stuff. And I really, really like it. I like sitting on the floor playing Legos with my little girl, singing “Peanut, peanut butter, and jelly,” holding her hand when we cross the street. I like coming home to my family in the evening, hearing my daughter call out for me when I come through the door, and letting the frustrations of the workday melt away as she shows me one of her penguins (nine so far) or plays “Jingle Bells” on the piano for me. Last Sunday we were all together in the kitchen, listening to Joni Mitchell and making donuts, and it was the best place to be in the world.
This is a new journey that’s just beginning. I don’t know where it will take us. But wherever we go, I’ll be home.