Rereading High School

Books that make the high school canon enter a kind of purgatory. They never go out of print, but they’re forever read by the wrong people. When F. Scott Fitzgerald was writing about fraying marriages in the Jazz Age, or when Ernest Hemingway was writing about war and impotence and alcoholism, they weren’t writing for kids. Even all those high school novels with kids in them — A Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Huck Finn, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man — were written for grownups, not teenagers, and certainly not written as primers for close reading analysis and fodder five-paragraph essays. We think we know these books because we read them as children. But how well do we really know them?

Over the past few years, I started revisiting some of these books, and I can assure you that they’re not the same. Books that felt profound back then — The Old Man and the Sea, Of Mice and Men, Lord of the Flies — now come off as a bit pat, a little too schematic. Others have deepened. I liked The Great Gatsby just fine the first time around, but it means a lot more when you’ve worked in Manhattan for a couple decades and been through a divorce. Holden Caufield is easier to take when you’re not his age and going to public school. Heart of Darkness means more when you’re reading it in a damp hotel room in India.

More recently, I got curious about the canon as a whole, as it was served to me during my high school years. This was 1988 to 1993. During those years, the Berlin Wall fell, and then the Soviet Union, and the Tiananmen Square democracy movement flowered and died. Anita Hill confronted Clarence Thomas, and Los Angeles burned. America had its first full-fledged war in a Muslim country. Bill Clinton was elected president. There was, as yet, no Internet, and post-cold war globalization was just getting started. Edward Said’s Orientalism was a mere decade old, and I doubt any of my high school English teachers had heard of it.

The books we read reflected the values and views of people on the far side of those events, mostly left-leaning English and education majors who graduated from college in the fifties and sixties, before the campus upheavals at the end of the decade. We read novels that showcased the plight of the poor. We were introduced to cultures beyond our own, but almost always through white male voices: Steinbeck on indigenous Mexicans, Hemingway on Caribbeans, Pearl S. Buck on the Chinese. Astonishingly, I can recall only one work we read by a writer of color, Loraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun. We read dystopian novels, antiwar novels, novels that showcased the plight of the poor. We read John Hersey’s Hiroshima, a brave bit of programming for a cold war-era high school curriculum. There was some emphasis on formal modernism, writers like Joyce and Beckett, but nothing too outlandish or difficult. We read a received canon of English-language and American literature, of course: Beowulf, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Hawthorne, Melville, Twain. There was some awareness of feminism, enough that we read A Doll’s House and Kate Chopin and Willa Cather. World literature went as far as Europe and no farther: Kafka, Remarque, Cervantes. Post-colonial literature did not exist for us.

This is not the canon I would put together today, but it was formative for me. What was actually in it? How might these books come across in 2021 to a guy in his forties who lives in South Korea and has a master’s degree in cultural studies? Will I still hate A Separate Peace? Will I still like Grendel? I’ve bought a stack of these old warhorses, and I’ll post about them as I read them. Stay tuned!

Ordinary world

The other day, I took my daughter out to practice riding her bike. We’ve got the training wheels up high now, and she’s starting to get the feel of riding on two wheels. As we rode around the apartment complex, we saw two little girls playing by the fish pond. My daughter just stopped and stared for a long time. She’s not in school right now, and she hasn’t been able to meet any friends for a while. I wanted so much to tell her to go talk to those kids, to say hi and see if they wanted to play. But of course that’s not something we can do right now.

Anxious times

My birthday arrives at a strange and anxious time. A year ago, when I talked about dancing in the wind, I couldn’t have foreseen the typhoons and tornadoes to come (including, here in Korea, some literal typhoons, like the one that blew through yesterday).

A year ago, we became a family: my wife, my daughter, and my mother-in-law all moved in together. The months after that were challenging. We traveled to the US and had a wedding here in Korea, and it was all pretty overwhelming. I was still learning how to be a family man — I was single a long time — and at times I fell short of what my wife and daughter needed from me. After those difficult and tumultuous months, we really hoped that we could settle into a normal routine. We wanted things just to be ordinary for a while.

No such luck.

I hope that in another year, things are better for the world. I hope my daughter is in school, and we can travel, or just go out for a really good pizza (we miss you, Brick Oven Pizza!) without fear. I hope my own country is in a better situation.

Cultivating the oasis

For this year, as plain as it may seem, my hope is just to be ordinary: an ordinary dad in an ordinary family in an ordinary world. I think a lot of us are hoping for some version of that. I want to take my wife out on a date at a cozy restaurant where the murmur of other voices isn’t threatening. I want to get my daughter up on two wheels. I want to see her in school and playing with friends.

These days, I’m reading books about child development and about marriage. I am trying to learn my role and do it better. I can’t know what the world will be like in another year, but I can do my best to make a happy home within it, for myself and for those I love and am responsible for. I’m grateful to have this oasis, and I will cultivate it even as the storms blow past.

COVID-19 in Korea Useful Links

Here’s a list of useful links I’ve found for information on dealing with the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak in South Korea. I hope to keep this updated. Some links are in Korean, so it’s best if you add a translation extension such as Google Translate to your browser.

If you have more useful links, please mention them in the comments!

Last update: March 2, 2020

Medical

Corona 19 Screening Clinic and Relief Hospital (Korean)
Full, searchable list from the KCDC.

Government

Emergency Ready App
Korean government app that provides emergency alerts in English.

Itaewon Global Village Center
Doing a heroic job of translating government alerts.

Korean Centers for Disease Control Coronavirus-19 page
Korean-only (for useful info, anyway), but with links to daily briefings in English and possibly with more coming.

KCDC latest stats
Updated twice daily, at 10 am and 6 pm, as far as I know. (So you don’t sit there hitting Refresh all day.)

KCDC FAQ (Korean)
Helpful if you can translate it.

Korea Immigration
You should know this one if you’re a foreigner living here, but they have press releases on issues like the visa extension due to the coronavirus.

World Health Organization Coronavirus website
Generally straightforward information from the global organization.

News

Korea Herald Coronavirus Page
Detailed coverage with a map, global stats, and more, in English.

Yonhap News English
Lots of news outlets in Korea, but everyone seems to copy from Yonhap. They seem mainstream and legit, without any obvious partisan bias.

Arirang News
For those who like their English-language Korea news televised.

New York Times Coronavirus
The Gray Lady has been providing clear, detailed coverage, with reporters on the ground in a lot of places. Scroll down for their feed of the latest updates.

Travel

Global travel restrictions from IATA
Tip: Run a browser search for your relevant country.

Maps

Corona Map (Korean)
Popular local map that lets you zoom in and get pretty granular.

Johns Hopkins global map
Fear-inducing UX design, but a quality global map.

Statistics

wuhanvirus.kr
A poorly named site with a ton of statistics. I haven’t checked the sources, but it seems solid.

Corona-Live
Good stats and news feed, available in English.

Bong Hits

There’s a scene in Parasite where fumigators come to the alley where the Kims live, spraying white clouds of insecticide. “Do they still do t hat?” someone asks. It was, among other things, a callback to Bong’s first movie, Barking Dogs Never Bite. In that film, kids ride their bikes in the poison wake of a fumigation truck, and a character disappears in the toxic fog. Those trucks were a real thing, at least in those days.

The unjustly neglected Barking Dogs was the first Korean film I ever saw. It was part of a Korean film festival in New York City in 2001, which I attended so I could learn something, anything, about the country I’d be moving to a couple of months later. No one knew much about Korea then. There wasn’t yet a Korean wave. No one talked about Korean fashion or makeup or hip-hop or dramas. All of that was in the future. But I was pretty sure I’d just seen a great film, and when I moved to Korea, it came back to me again and again. Somehow it captured perfectly the texture of Korean life in those days.

As the Korean wave crested, other films and directors got more notice, especially the brilliant Park Chan-wook. But for all the flash and dazzling weirdness of Oldboy and the rest of his Vengeance series, I was convinced that people were missing out on Korea’s greatest filmmaker. I went to see Bong speak at the Korea Society in New York a few years ago, and he drew a crowd of dozens. He was affable, charming, humble, and quietly very, very smart. Like his movies.

I’m glad that he’s getting the attention he deserves at last, and not for one of his crossover films — his English-speaking characters have always felt wooden to me — but for a movie rooted in the textures of actual Korean life (and starring longtime Bong collaborator Song Kang-ho). It’s a proud moment for Korean cinema and culture, and one that I hope will draw viewers to Bong’s other films, and to the work of other Korean filmmakers and artists.

A Decade by the Numbers

Places lived: 5
Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn
Seocho-gu, Seoul
Seocho-gu, Seoul, same building but different apartment
Bundang-gu, Seongnam City, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

Places worked: 2
Google and Samsung

Samsung job offers rejected: 1

Samsung job offers accepted: 1

Countries visited: 21
United States, India, Ghana, Hungary, Austria, Mexico, China, South Korea, Costa Rica, Israel, Trinidad and Tobago, Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia, Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, Indonesia, Singapore, Japan, Sri Lanka

Countries visited for the first time: 15
United States, India, Mexico, China, South Korea, Japan were all repeats.

Countries lived in: 2

Percent of decade spent outside the US: 43

Houses purchased: 1

Cars purchased: 1

Master’s degrees acquired: 1

Landmark courses attended: 8 (including 1 in Thailand)

Alcoholic beverages consumed: 0

Family members born: 5
1 nephew, 3 nieces, and my daughter, though I didn’t know her at the time

Marriages: 1

Happy New Year!

Trunk dancing

In Korean dance, every movement, down to the fingertips, originates in the core of the body, an extension of the breath. This is called trunk dancing, as opposed to Indian or Southeast Asian styles of dance, whose isolated movements are known as branch and stem dancing.

I learned this idea years ago from Dong-Won Kim, a member of Yo-Yo Ma’s Silk Road Ensemble. It comes to mind today, on my birthday, as I go with my family — wife, daughter, mother-in-law — to see Ma perform the complete Bach solo cello suites in Seoul. We do things together now, our movements swaying from the common core that is our family.

The roots

A year ago on my birthday, I wrote that it should be a year of putting down roots in Korea. A week ago, my new family moved in with me. And on Friday I’ll take my wife and daughter to America to meet my parents and siblings and all the kids. (Also to go to Disneyland, because Disneyland!)

Now that the roots are in and deepening, this can be the year of strengthening the trunk, of growing upward and outward together, of learning to sway in tandem. This is our new dance.

In practical terms, that means finishing all the little things still to be done in the apartment — organizing, hanging the pictures — and finding our new patterns together. These days, my daughter is learning to sleep by herself in her own bed instead of with her grandma, which means my mother-in-law can sleep on her own, in her room. I’m learning what all the stuff is in the back of the fridge, and how to cook again, this time for four. We’re drinking egg creams together.

It also means having our wedding, which comes in a couple of months. We’ll celebrate our new marriage, and our new family, with the people in our lives. From the roots, we will blossom outward.

Wind

Tonight’s concert was supposed to be outdoors, in the park, but Typhoon Lingling made other plans, and the performance was moved indoors. The storm passed yesterday afternoon, scattering leaves, but we watched the trees in our neighborhood dance and sway and hold strong.

This is the dance I’m learning. This is the family we’re creating. Winds will come, and we will dance in them. In this year of my life, that’s what I want to do. I want to delight in the dance.

And tonight, that means enjoying Bach’s sarabandes and courantes and gigues and allemandes. This will be my daughter’s first classical concert. I hope her concentration holds. And if it doesn’t, we can always leave early. The movement will come from the core. The trunk will drive the dance.

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware

Three years ago today, I moved to Korea to find my home. When people asked my why Korea, I didn’t have an answer. But now I know. I had to come to Korea to find my home because this is where she was waiting for me.

In a few weeks, I’ll be moving to the new apartment in the suburbs that I’ll be sharing with my wife (the wedding is in November, but whatever), our five-year-old daughter, and my mother-in-law. I didn’t know when I came to Korea that this is where I was headed. I didn’t know, during all those tutoring sessions and summer immersion programs and language courses and master’s degree classes, that I was doing it all so I could explain the Tooth Fairy to my daughter in a moment of crisis. As my grandfather said, money for education is never wasted.

Early in our relationship, my wife started saying to me that she wanted to be my home. I’m not sure either of us fully understood what she meant. She saw I was lonely and that my family was far away, and she wanted to cook for me and invite me over on holidays so I’d be comfortable. That was all.

But underneath was something deeper. She was also looking for her home — looking for the happy family she dreamed of but had almost given up hope of ever having. That we would find these things in each other is still surprising.

Creating a blended family isn’t always easy (even if the name makes it sound like some kind of smoothie). It has taken tremendous trust from my wife to let me get close to her daughter. Our new family is a work in progress, as I guess every family always is.

But it turns out I’m pretty good at this dad stuff. And I really, really like it. I like sitting on the floor playing Legos with my little girl, singing “Peanut, peanut butter, and jelly,” holding her hand when we cross the street. I like coming home to my family in the evening, hearing my daughter call out for me when I come through the door, and letting the frustrations of the workday melt away as she shows me one of her penguins (nine so far) or plays “Jingle Bells” on the piano for me. Last Sunday we were all together in the kitchen, listening to Joni Mitchell and making donuts, and it was the best place to be in the world.

This is a new journey that’s just beginning. I don’t know where it will take us. But wherever we go, I’ll be home.

Fool Me Once…

So there’s this guy. He lives way up above us. He has a white beard. We call him Father. He watches you all the time, and eventually, as the world grows cold and dark, he rewards those who have been good and punishes those who have been bad.

Just kidding! That whole Santa Claus thing is a myth! It’s just a story we tell kids to trick them into behaving and to have a little fun. We totally lied to you! The rewards came from us the whole time.

However …

There’s this other guy who lives above us and has a white beard, and we call him Father, and he watches you all the time, and eventually, as darkness closes in upon you, he will judge you. If you’ve been good, he will give you an eternal reward. If you’ve been bad, he will give you an eternal punishment. We have no evidence — unlike the other guy, you can’t even see this guy at the mall — but you must believe us this time. It’s super, super important and totally not a trick to get you to behave!

(From the outside, Christianity is weird.)

Christmas Music that Doesn’t Suck

If you have ever been to a store in December in the United States (or a great many other countries), you have heard what I think of as the Retail Christmas Soundtrack: Last Christmas, All I Want for Christmas Is You, et. al. It’s mostly terrible. Even that John Lennon Christmas song is kind of terrible. Since I didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas, none of this stuff evokes childhood memories of gifts and treats. It just reminds me of sweating through my jacket in a long line in a dingy Duane-Reade or in the overcrowded, fluorescent-lit bowels of some now-defunct retail chain like Woolworth’s or Lechters.

To counter this, I’ve created a Google Play Music playlist of Christmas music that doesn’t suck.

It turns out there’s actually a lot of good Christmas music out there if you look a little, everything from jazz to soul to funk to folk to blues to reggae, some of it genuinely moving, some of it just fun. I’ve included stuff I think is actually worth listening to even if Christmas isn’t really your bag.

There’s the Nutcracker Suite, which is scientifically proven to be the best Christmas music there is. There’s a lot of jazz, like Oscar Peterson’s Christmas album and Ella Fitzgerald’s, which are good because everything Oscar or Ella ever did was good. There’s a lot of blues and a lot of soul, including James Brown’s weirdly compelling Christmas music. There’s that new John Legend album, which I like even though I don’t really like John Legend or Christmas music. There’s Chuck Berry. There’s Fiona Apple singing Frosty the Snowman. There is no Elvis, no Phil Spector, no Johnny Cash.

Alas, the playlist doesn’t include Duke Ellington’s Nutcracker Suite, which is my favorite Christmas album. It has disappeared from Google Play Music, but can be found on YouTube.  Sugar Rum Cherry, in particular, is amazing — Duke’s sexy, slinky take on the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Anyway, here’s my little gift to those who have a Google Play Music subscription. Enjoy!

Christmas Music that Doesn’t Suck

Pneumonia

Nebulizing in the Emergency Room at Gangnam Severance Hospital.

A few weeks ago, I was struck with a bout of pneumonia. After several days of fever and burning lungs that antibiotics couldn’t tackle, my girlfriend took me to the Emergency Room at Gangnam Severance Hospital on a Saturday night. They sent me home with a bag of drugs.

But by Sunday noon the fever was back up to 103.2 F (39.5 C). This time my girlfriend couldn’t come to me, but she called an ambulance, and back to the ER I went. I spent the next 28 hours there, and didn’t leave the hospital until the following Sunday. I spent another week at home recovering.

I’ve wanted to write something about what I went through, but I’m finding it difficult. Sickness, like dreams, is mostly interesting to the person experiencing it. Unpleasant as it was, it was nothing more than a few days in the hospital, a few days of feeling rotten and then less rotten. That it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through is maybe evidence of how lucky I’ve been in life. It was horrible, but I’m not sure it was interestingly horrible.

I’m also tired of thinking about it. I want to be well again, and mostly I am, though my lungs are still recovering. Maybe later, when this is fully behind me, I’ll be able to turn my hospitalization into amusing anecdotes. For now, it’s enough to say that it happened and that I’m OK again. And if you’re looking for things to do in Seoul, I don’t recommend pneumonia.