[colors and numbers]

I have discovered a most extraordinary blog. 16 Colors elegantly combines the Internet’s tendencies to spectacular pointlessness, acute nerdiness and accidental beauty.

I stumbled across this strange beast while searching for an online random color generator. And why was I searching for such a thing? Because I’m learning Korean.

See, when you’re learning foreign vocabulary, you can often help yourself along by creating little mnemonic stories about the new words. For example, I can remember that sukje (숙제) means “homework” because I think of an Arab kid who’d rather go to the souk and smoke a jay than do his homework. Elaborate? Yes. Effective? Very.

There is some vocabulary, however, that is simply not amenable to that kind of mnemonic storytelling. Specifically, number and color terms just have to be memorized through brute force and repetition.

Koreans have a couple of different number systems, and while the Chinese-based system is relatively simple — higher numbers like 25 are just “two-ten-five” — the Korean native numbers, used to tell people’s ages, have unique terms for 20, 30, 40 and so on up through 90. (Past 99, it’s all the Chinese system.) To bang these beasties into my head, I dug up an online random number generator, made a long list of numbers between zero and 99, and then sat there for a while reciting them. After about ten minutes, my intuitive knowledge of number terminology had increased substantially.

Looking to replicate this success, I googled “online random color generator,” and lo and behold, I found my way to 100 Random Colors 2.0, which is exactly what it sounds like. Hit reload and watch the colors change! (The site was created by web designer Regnard Kreisler C. Raquedan.) But somehow the random colors are even better in blog form. There are even archives!

Meanwhile, I should get back to mumbling Korean words at the screen.

[maybe]

This one’s for you, Jenny.

On Tuesday, with the day off for Korean Independence Day, I made my way to the Brooklyn Public Library’s Central branch, at Grand Army Plaza, and came home with an armload of books, among them Roadmap to Korean by Richard Harris (not the actor), a student of the Korean language, a resident in that country for five years at the time of publication, and a kindred spirit. His book is a compendium of useful concepts that he wishes he had, and now I wish I had, upon first arriving in Korea (example: an appendix with translations of typical ATM screens).

When we were in Korea, our school’s assistant director and our primary boss, James, was fond of prefacing every statement with “Maybe,” which led to much bafflement. “Maybe tomorrow is a holiday.” “Maybe you teach one extra hour tonight.” “Maybe I have to go to Seoul tomorrow.” Maybe? What the hell does that mean?

In a chapter about how Korean is a high-context language, meaning much is said indirectly or left understood based on context, Harris has this to say about Korean maybeism:

Another example of Koreans not being direct linguistically is the only-too-common, seemingly ubiquitous ‘maybe.’ Though some visitors to Korea don’t ever pick up on this, even after years of interaction with Koreans, the fact is that the Korean language itself is ladled with grammar structures that imply that something is not definite, when everyone knows it clearly is. That’s why Koreans, when speaking English, say things absolutely baffling with regards to the use of maybe.

Harris feels my pain!

He goes on to give a few examples of phrases that make sense in Korean but translate bizarrely into English, like “Maybe I can’t go to class” and “Maybe your sister’s tall.” They make more sense to me now, knowing what I know of Korean grammar. At the time, though, they left us completely at a loss. This is why I want to learn Korean so badly. Just as I needed to go back to Nepal and India a second time to find out what had so completely addled my mind on the first go-round, I feel now like the only way to work out what Korea was really about is to get inside the language.

No easy task, that, but I’m working on it.

[the new york korean film festival]

New York Korean Film FestivalThe New York Korean Film Festival is back, from August 25 to September 3, with films showing at the ImaginAsian Theatre, BAM and the Anthology Film Archives.

The Film Festival website offers a fair amount of information, including synopses and even trailers — although without subtitles, so I can’t get more than the gist of what they’re about. Still, it’s enough for me to have picked a few highlights that I hope to see.

Korean film has developed a reputation for moody thrillers and crime dramas, but I’ve never been wild for the genre, and my own interests lean more towards films that reveal the experience of daily life in Korea. Two romantic comedies, Rules of Dating and When Destiny Meets Romance, look like they’ll be good fun, and even without understanding most of it, the trailer for the latter is hilarious. On a darker note, Grain in Ear is a social drama focused on the plight of a poor Chinese-Korean woman and her young son, and it seems to have won a fair amount of international recognition.

I have to admit that I’m intrigued by Forbidden Quest, an erotically charged historical drama. Also historically New York Korean Film Festivalinteresting are Water Mill, a black-and-white drama of revenge and betrayal from 1966, and The Way to Sampo, a 1975 film about the rapid pace of change in South Korea. And then there’s If You Were Me, a collection of six short animated films.

But the film I’m most excited about is Wedding Campaign, which follows an unlucky Korean bachelor to Uzbekistan, of all places, where he goes to find himself a bride among the substantial Korean diaspora that lives there. How often will a movie come along that can satisfy my fascinations with Korea and Central Asia simultaneously? Right: once. And this is it. I’ll be at the showing at BAM on Sunday, September 3 at 4 p.m. See you there!

[old friends]

Yesterday, out of the blue, I got a message on Friendster from an old high school friend, Nicole Kristal. She was a sophomore when I was a senior, and we were never that close back then, though we had a number of friends in common. But we worked together on The Voice of Troy, the school newspaper, and we developed a certain mutual respect as capable writers who actually cared about both the craft and the purpose of journalism.

I hadn’t talked to Nicole since we were both in college, so I was fascinated to learn of the twists and turns her life has taken since. After earning her bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Oregon in 1999, she found her way to Los Angeles, where she tried to make it as a singer-songwriter (if the audio links on her website don’t work, you can find some samples here). To make ends meet, she fell into “tutoring” rich kids, which ultimately meant writing their papers for money.

This demoralizing career did get her published in Newsweek, no small achievement, and even got her on the CBS Evening News, where you can see a clip of her speaking in what used to be my accent. (Her troubling career also inspired a lengthy article about hemmorhoids for Ostrich Ink.)

She’s now a staff writer for Backstage West, a wholly more decent line of work, and has a book coming out — The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe, a tongue-in-cheek work to be released in October by Alyson Publications.

We talked last night for the first time in years, and we’ll probably chat again soon. Unlike a lot of my high school acquaintances, who’ve settled into boring suburban babymaking lives and with whom conversation is a tedious chore, Nicole is actually interesting to talk to. And it’s always kind of interesting to catch up with people you knew way back when.

[oh, lordi!]

Hard Rock Hallelujah (Audio | Video) by Lordi

The Eurovision Song Contest is usually an ABBAesque cheesefest, but this year’s winners are different. Still hopelessly cheesy, yes, but different. Taking a page from GWAR, Lordi — the most popular thing to come out of Finland since Nokia — is a metal band that only appears in ridiculous monster constumes and that indulges in parodic Satanic lyrics. From their contest-winning anthem “Rock and Roll Hallelujah”:

On the day of Rockoning
It’s who dares, wins
You will see the jokers soon’ll be the new kings

Apparently the day of Rockoning has come, and these jokers reign supreme. In Europe, anyway.

[why we fight]

The outbreak of war in Lebanon got me to wondering about the roots of the modern Middle East and its conflicts. Sitting on our bookshelf was A Peace to End All Peace: The Fall of the Ottoman Empire and the Creation of the Modern Middle East, by David Fromkin, which Jenny had thought was quite good.

So I started in on that, but I hadn’t gotten very far before I realized that in order to understand it, I would need a clearer sense of what World War I was all about. So I backtracked to John Keegan’s The First World War. As one might expect from a historian of warfare, The First World War is very much a military history, with a fair description of the political crisis that precipitated the calamity and a great deal to say about specific battles and tactics. But any military study of World War I inevitably leads one to ask deep and difficult questions about the nature of warfare itself, not to mention questions about the political and social motivations behind this particular war. The Germans intended to take Paris and the French Berlin, but what did they hope to do when they got there? Why were societies willing to mobilize such massive armies to fight with tactics that were understood at the outset to involve massive casualties? Why were men willing to advance in ordered ranks under shelling and machine-gun fire that spelled certain death? Why did none of the armies pull back from the stalemated front lines to fight a guerrilla war? Why did everyone agree to show up and play by the spectacularly murderous yet orderly rules established by Clausewitz in On War? There seemed to be a great deal Keegan was leaving unsaid.

This is presumably because his answers to these larger questions can be found in his masterwork, A History of Warfare, a trenchant exploration of the roots and ritualizations that have characterized war throughout history. A sustained criticism of Clausewitz, the book argues that war is usually fought by tactics that are dictated as much by cultural preference as by any absolute material aims. Military culture, Keenan suggests, ossifies at the moment of its greatest glory and is extremely resistant to change, which helps explain why Mameluke horsemen continued to confront riflery long after such attacks were proved futile, why the Ottoman Empire had such a difficult time adjusting to the military imperatives of modern Europe, and why the United States continues to send armored divisions against every enemy, from Communist-tainted jungle hamlets to Branch Davidian compounds to insurgent-permeated Iraqi cities.

Keegan also makes the point that every sort of war — 20th-century Clausewitzian massive wars, Maoist “protracted” wars involving forced politicization of civilians, the primitive warfare of the Yanomamo — is incredibly brutal and loathed by most of its participants. Protracted war, moreover, though often successful on its own terms — Mao, Tito and Ho Chi Minh did take power eventually, and the ongoing terrorist struggles in the Middle East have certainly strengthened the hands of men like Nasrallah — they do so at an extraordinary cost in civilian deaths and typically for the purpose of installing a repressive regime that quickly succumbs to rampant corruption.

The news of late reinforces the sense that war is inevitable and getting worse, but that turns out to be false. In an enlightening and encouraging article for Science and Spirit, science writer John Horgan presents this arresting statistic:

Hard as it may be to believe, humanity as a whole has become much less violent than it used to be. Despite the massive slaughter that resulted from World Wars I and II, the rate of violent death for males in North America and Europe during the twentieth century was one percent. Worldwide, about 100 million men, women, and children died from warrelated [sic] causes, including disease and famine, in the last century. The total would have been 2 billion if our rates of violence had been as high as in the average primitive society.

This calculation is so counterintuitive because in primitive societies, warfare rarely results in more than one or two casualties at a time, whereas modern wars can reduce whole cities in an instant. But the populations involved in modern war (and peace) are also drastically larger, and relatively few countries have face more than two or three high-casualty wars in a century, whereas many primitive societies are in a state of endemic tit-for-tat warfare.

I’m not sure how encouraging all this is for the Lebanese or Iraqis at the moment, but I am coming to the view that while war has been with us throughout history, its forms and purposes are widely varied and amenable to adjustment, even to elimination. Keegan reminds us that until quite recently, slavery, infanticide, dueling and cannibalism were all also practices that had remained a part of human culture since the dawn of our existence, but they have largely been eliminated. Of course, I don’t think war will be eliminated easily or soon. But is it possible? In theory at least, I would have to say yes.

[breaking the glass ceiling]

Indra K. NooyiPepsiCo has named a woman CEO: Indra K. Nooyi, an Indian-American who was born in Chennai (then Madras) and educated at Indian universities before graduating from the Yale School of Management.

Nooyi joins 12 other female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. This low rate of representation for women at the highest levels of American business suggests that the glass ceiling is still a concern. Still, Nooyi’s promotion is perhaps a sign of change. Keeping in mind that people don’t typically become CEO until well into their careers, and that women only started entering the workforce in great numbers perhaps 25 years ago, we may still be in the early stages of transition in the upper echelons of the business world. After all, people of my generation, still in their thirties, are the first to have spent their entire professional lives in environments regulated by sexual harrassment laws. When people born in the 1970s are old enough to be CEOs of Fortune 500, I expect to see a higher percentage of women in top executive positions, if not total gender equality.

[two years]

Permanent Mission BuildingThe I.M. Pei-designed South Korean Mission on East 45th Street.

I sort of missed it as it went by, but July 27 marked two years for me at the Permanent Mission of the Republic of Korea to the United Nations. This is the longest I’ve stayed at any job except for DoubleClick, which lasted three long years.

But it hasn’t seemed that long, presumably because I really enjoy being here. By two years in at DoubleClick, I’d gone through a fairly disastrous opening period and suffered through my boss Karen’s pregnancy leave, during which her second-in-command hewed strictly to her orders that I do no work except editing — which was a problem because there was, during that period, no editing to be done — and then, upon her return, confronted me with threats of imminent dismissal because I hadn’t been doing any work. Things turned around in my last year, when I finally got my own ego in check and learned how to behave decently in an office, while my boss finally worked out how to run a writing department (useful tip: request writing samples from job candidates). I suppose the whole transformative experience of DoubleClick, which was my first serious job out of school, made it seem longer than it was.

In any case, that’s now far in the past. Apparently speechwriters don’t usually last long here at the Mission, so I may be headed for veteran status fairly soon.

[concerned with your size and hardness?]

Fascinating copy from a spam email I received:

Concerned with your size and hardness? Study this, here’s the answer!

A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath. God gives every bird its food, but does not always drop it into the nest. A creaking door hangs longest.

Indeed.