[i am privileged]

Don’t know where this meme started, but I picked it up from my cousin Louise. If it’s true for me, it’s in bold. Feel free to post your own.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children’s books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family (fam trip because Dad worked for travel agency types)
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

[it’s my new york again]

Somehow I missed the news, so when I walked past East 33rd and Third Avenue — Toidy-Toid and Toid, to those from the old school — I was overcome with awe and delight. I had to go in for a closer look, just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. But it was real: the Second Avenue Deli is back, with a line out the door.

I have always believed that living in New York City means accommodating yourself to change. I have heard mourned just about everything good or bad that has ever come to pass here, from Ebbets Field and the old Penn Station to porn theaters in Times Square and a lawless Alphabet City on fire, and I’ve thought, hey, that’s life in the Big City. I’ve been here long enough to see a few of my own beloved landmarks go, and to see neighborhoods change character completely.

But when the 2nd Avenue Deli closed, somehow that was different.

Growing up in California, I was taught by my transplanted New Yorker parents that there were no proper baked goods west of the Hudson and that there was a right way and a wrong way to prepare and eat a deli sandwich: mustard on rye, with none of that bullshit lettuce and tomato or (chas v’shalom!) sprouts.

My Great Aunt Sylvia had lived since the 1950s at Second Avenue and 10th Street, so my father’s family had been going there since he was a kid. On trips Back East, and even years later, stopping in at the Deli felt like visiting my parents’ childhoods. I remember Abe Lebewohl once greeting my Cousin Roberta, then in her fifties, as if she were still the little girl he had known decades earlier.

New York can be a hard town, and sometimes I wonder what I’m still doing here. Too many of the funky places I fell in love with are gone, and too much of the city is chain stores, tourist crap and stuff I can’t afford. The resurrection of the 2nd Avenue Deli reminds me of what I still love about Gotham.

Now to go and stand on that line.

[new starts]

Just in time for Christmas, I got a present: a job offer from Invision, Inc., a company that provides software for cable TV ad management. I’ll be a Documentation Specialist, doing a mix of tech writing, editing and project and team management.

The offer is the culmination of a six-month search. It’s bittersweet: I’ll be glad to be making more and achieving financial independence, but I’m quite sad to be leaving the South Korean Mission to the UN. I’ve never had a job I liked more, or found easier, or that sounded better at parties. I love the people, the culture, the environment, the engagement with world affairs.

Still, the work here has become repetitive, and it’s time for me to take on new challenges, even if they scare me. Can I handle the new job? Will I work hard? Will they like me? Will I like them?

I don’t know yet. I don’t know how it will be or where it will lead. All the signs are good: they have growth, low turnover, a mellow atmosphere. The offer, a 60% raise over my current salary (more in real terms because of some complicated tax issues) is serious business. And when I miss the Mission, I’ll be just a short distance away, in the Graybar Building at Grand Central.

Two things I do know: 1) I plan to keep studying Korean, and 2) I’m about to take off early from work and enjoy the 80GB iPod Classic I bought yesterday to celebrate.

[sejong]

The International Sejong Soloists are a conductorless string ensemble founded by Hyo Kang, who named the group after the Korean king most revered for his devotion to culture and the arts. Based in New York, their members come from eight different countries, but there’s definitely a certain Korean flavor about the whole organization, and they receive a lot of support and attention from the Korean community.

On Sunday night, I had the privilege of volunteering at their eighth annual benefit concert, held at Zankel Hall, Carnegie’s jewelbox space for recitals. My role consisted mostly in helping to welcome the guests in various ways: guiding them to the coat check at the reception, pointing them to their tables for dinner, handing out gift bags afterwards, answering questions at the silent auction.

I was a little worried about bumping into my boss while serving as a valet — Ambassador Kim was scheduled to attend, though I believe he never arrived, and though the evening’s honoree, Ban Ki-moon, was not in attendance (he was in Bali, helping to nail down the climate treaty), I thought I might bump into Mr. Yoon Yeo-cheol, his personal secretary and a former Counsellor at the Korean Mission. I didn’t see either of them, but I did get chatted up extensively by an older woman who claimed to be a “UN correspondent” and wanted to know about the new ambassador’s personality. I said little.

Probably the most interesting part of the whole experience (besides the music) was getting to wander around in the interior of Carnegie Hall. I’ve still never been in the main hall, but I’ve now been in a couple of the reception spaces, and also in the maze that constitutes Carnegie’s vast backstage. There are hallways and more hallways, about as glamorous as government archives and similarly appointed with cheap linoleum and fluorescent lighting. The elevators have elaborate notes next to each button to help you figure out which hall’s mezzanine or whatever you’re about to land behind.

When it came time to move from the dinner space to the concert, I ended up lost with a young Korean volunteer and the event coordinator, and it felt very “Hello Cleveland” to be doubling back and asking security how to get to the hall. We finally found ourselves standing before a door that said “Mezzanine,” and below that, “THIS DOOR MUST REMAIN CLOSED AT ALL TIMES.” After a bit of hesitation — we were desperately trying to avoid walking out on stage by accident — I decided to take the plunge, and fortunately we wound up exactly where we were supposed to be.

The music is what drew me to volunteer — I had seen Sejong once before and been deeply impressed with their passionate intensity — and on Sunday they did not disappoint. After a bit of speechifying, hosted by TV journalist Paula Zahn, a longtime friend of the ensemble, the performance began on a conservative note, with Haydn’s Notturno in F major. It’s the kind of piece that too many ensembles are willing to sleepwalk through, but Sejong dug in with admirable vigor. Two Bach cantatas, “Liebster Jesu, mein Verlangen” and “Weichet nur betrübte Schatten,” bounced along nicely on Yousun Chung’s jaunty oboe, though I would have appreciated less anachronistic warble from soprano Hyunah Yu.

Yu’s performance was altogether more extraordinary on Gordon Shi-wen Chin’s outstanding Haiku for Voice and Strings, a work that alternated between churning, engine-like rumbles and cascades of sliding notes that fell like tears. The vocals were less sung than cried out in a plaintive, repeating wail, as Yu recited three haikus, the first and third by Basho, and the second by Buson:

Oh Summer grasses
all that remains
of the warriors’ dreams

I go
and you stay
two autumns

Turn this way
I too feel lonely
late in autumn

The performance was literally breathtaking, and I was literally moved to tears.

After the intermission, the Soloists came back with a couple more warhorses, but really good ones: Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 6, a blast of a technical showpiece, and then Dvořák’s Waltz, Op. 54, No. 1, an utterly lovely Romantic confection.

And then there was Zahn. Paula Zahn fancies herself a cellist, and she would not be embarrassing as, say, a quirky addition to a rock band for a couple of numbers. With the Sejong Soloists, however, her shortcomings were painfully obvious, and it was all too clear that she was on that stage not because she has musical talent, but because she is a rich and influential woman whose vanity is worth appeasing. She and the Soloists performed an original work commissioned from Eric Ewazen, a schmaltzy and easy-to-play set of romantic clichés titled A Poem of Hope. I was reminded of a story I was once told, possibly apocryphal, by a composer and arranger who claimed that there had once been an annual tradition in which a particular wealthy madame rented out Carnegie Hall in order to sing, and that this was a major event on the social calendar, where the challenge was to get through the whole performance without bursting out laughing.

Fortunately the Soloists had one further trick up their collective sleeve: for Edward Elgar’s Introduction and Allegro, Op. 47, they were joined by the Jilliard String Quartet, whose poise and feeling were a fine counterbalance to Sejong’s fire.

I left that night with a gift bag and a smile, having met some fascinating new people, supported a worthy organization, and been touched by an extraordinary ensemble.

[living in interesting times]

Last week, on Monday night, I went to sign the divorce papers. It was devastating. It was a freezing night with bitter winds, which seemed to fit. I went separately from Jenny, but on my way out I stopped in at a McDonald’s for a suitably grim dinner, and Jenny bumped into me afterwards on the subway platform. We were both very sad, and there was little to say.

It didn’t help matters that I had a cold. On Tuesday I dragged myself to a job interview with a very nice company that isn’t hiring. This did not lift my spirits. Exhausted, I took Wednesday off. It was my first time being sick while on my own — ever, really, except for one bout of serious illness in India — and it scared me. Afterward, I made sure to talk to a couple of new friends in the neighborhood, who said that of course they would help if I needed it. Learning to ask for help is good.

Saturday I went to a dance concert at Juilliard, then a much more ramshackle dance concert put on by a composer friend of a composer friend. Afterward, we all went back to the organizer’s apartment in Brooklyn for a party, at which I discussed Korean and Finnish folklore with a Finnish folklorist. I left just before the microtonal orchestral music began. I’d been suffering from my arrhythmia all evening, and I almost couldn’t walk the three blocks from the subway to my apartment. I had taken too many of the beta-blocker pills that are supposed to fix the arrhythmia, and I ended up staggering to the curb and throwing up in the gutter. I realized that to anyone passing by, I must have looked like a drunk, which was funny because I hadn’t had a drink in nine months to the day.

On Tuesday night, as I was heading to a 12-step meeting, I saw a pickup truck start backing up just as a small Hispanic man darted into the street looking the other way. I shouted — “Yo, yo, YO!” and the truck stopped inches from the pedestrian, who never noticed any of it. I then made an incomprehensible gesture at the driver and walked on.

Yesterday morning I went for a job interview and was kept waiting in the lobby for 40 minutes because of a miscommunication. But at least they’re hiring.

Last night, after a very interesting evening out, I was walking home from the subway and heard a rustling in the bushes in front of an apartment building. I turned around, expecting a cat or something, and was startled to see the wide-eyed face of a young woman who was lying there, bundled in a coat and mittens. I turned around and kept walking.

Today at lunch, the diner on 49th and First was shaken by an explosion up the block. A manhole cover had been blown off, smoke and steam billowing into the street. A few minutes later, the fire department showed up and taped off the street. As we left, we saw the shards of the manhole cover lying a few feet away from the hole. Fortunately no one was hurt.

I feel today as though I’ve somehow stepped into a Murakami novel, where the world is off-kilter in a way that may or may not be ominous, and my role is simply to live in it as normally as possible.

I’m tired.

[dizzy in frisco]

Dizzybam (MySpace)

Okay, so maybe you had to be there. Maybe you had to be packed into the Berkeley Square on a Saturday night, in a crowd that mixed university kids, cholos, skate punks, backpacker hip-hop kids from Oakland. Maybe you had to wait while the band set up their instruments — a couple guitars, a trap set, congas, horn mikes — dancing in the meantime to some song you’d never heard before, some kind of psychedelic masterpiece built around a broken Gene Chandler sample, while Japanese anime porn played on the screen in front of the stage. In those days, before the Web, these kinds of sights and sounds were something you had to travel for. And then the DJ would cut out, the screen would go up, and a crowd would pour onto the stage, as mixed up as the crowd on the floor, and led by Fredimac, a tall blond rapper who would whip us into a bouncing frenzy.

Dizzybam never went anywhere. Most of the bands from those days didn’t — Fungo Mungo, MCM and the Monster, Blüchunks, Aztlan Nation — but that was never the point. And the demos never seemed to do justice to the experience of standing there at the edge of the stage as the horns hit and the singer started jumping and the crowd pressed in from behind. Dizzybam’s no different in that respect: the record that remains is a shadow of what was. But I’m glad I found it out there to remind me of those amazing Berkeley nights when Dizzybam rocked the house and for a moment the world felt real.

[is that a pillar in your cornerstone, or are you just happy to see me?]

SENTENCE: The NPT is today more important than ever. Since its inception, this treaty has served as the cornerstone of global security and peace in the nuclear field, based on the mutually reinforcing pillars of non-proliferation, disarmament and the peaceful use of nuclear energy.

WHERE: Draft statement on nuclear disarmament and non-proliferation.

CORRECTION: The NPT is today more important than ever. Since its inception, this treaty has served as the cornerstone of global security and peace in the nuclear field.

Vital to the Treaty’s integrity and viability is the delicate balance among the three pillars of the NPT: non-proliferation, disarmament and the peaceful uses of nuclear energy.

CRITIQUE: The problem with this sentence is a mixed metaphor: a cornerstone rests on the ground, in the corner, so it can’t be balanced on three pillars.

Fixing this sentence was actually fiendishly difficult, and I’m not entirely happy with the results. Unfortunately, the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) is widely accepted as the cornerstone and as having three pillars.

Worse yet, it was about a paragraph down that disarmament and non-proliferation were described as balancing on the fulcrum of the peaceful uses of nuclear energy. I was expecting them to start doing circus tricks by the end of the speech!

[giving thanks]

This year has been a very, very difficult one for me, but there is still a great deal I have to be thankful for. I am thankful for my friends, old and new, who have helped me through the crisis. I am thankful that I have a home and a job and a loving family. I am thankful for hope, even in great sadness.

There is more — much more — for which I am thankful, but that I don’t want to talk about here.

Instead, it’s time for my annual reposting of I Am Thankful for my Wear: Celebrating Thanksgiving with Korean Kids.

Yesterday for reasons having nothing to do with Thanksgiving and everything to do with inept management, Jenny and I had middle school classes for which the lesson was not pages from a textbook, as usual, but “ACTIVITY.” When I asked our boss, Yu-jin, what the ACTIVITY was, she sort of laughed and said, “You make.” So among other things to fill the hour, Jenny and I decided to teach our kids about Thanksgiving and have them write what they are thankful for. It ain’t as good as eating turkey and stuffing, but reading the results was good fun, and here are the best of them.

In the category of family relations:

I’m thankful for mother.
I’m thankful for father.
I’m thankful for brother.
I’m thankful for sister.
I am thankful for my cousins
I’m thankful for uncle’s son here.
I’m thankful for my dog here.
I am thankful for my parents because they help me for grow up and they care of me.

In the category of the religious:

I’m thankful for GOD.
I am thankful that I can go to church
I’m thankful for God Almighty.
I am thankful for my zezus.

In the category of the undeniably useful:

I’m thankful for my pen.
I am thankful that I can buy things.
I’m thankful for oxygen.
I am thankful that I can walk
I am thankful that I can eat
I am thankful that I wear clothes.
I am thankful that I can speak Korean
I am thankful for house
I’m thanksful for my air
I am thankful that I can learn
I am thankful for weather forecast
I am thankful that I was born, I have family and I live in Korea.
I am thankful that I can take a shower.

In the category of things yummy:

I am thankful for foods.
I’m thankful for eat many food.
I’m thankful for I eat past food.
I’m thankful for chicken.
I’m thankful for pizza.
I’m thankful for ice-cream.
I’m thankful for cookies.

In the category of the (accidentally?) poetic:

I’m thankful for my favorite thing.
I’m thankful for my hate thing.
I’m thankful for moon
I thankful for my life
I thankful for earth.
I thankful for many scientist.
I’m thankful for HOT.
I’m thankful for many trees and many rivers.
I’m thankful for mountins.
I’m thankful for earth.
I’m thankful for windy.
I’m thankful for a red sky.

In the category of fun:

I’m thankful that have good time
I am thankful that I can see B.S.B.
I am thankful that I can watch TV.
I am thankful that I can play computer games
I am thankful that I can run.
I am thankful that read a books.
I am thankful that I talk with my friends
I am thankful that I can listen to music
I am thankful that I can play the piano.
I am thankful that I can go to the beach
I am thankful that I can swam in the ocean
I’m thankful for Christmas.
I’m thankful for my birthday.
I don’t thanful that I have to do my homework

In the category of things that warm a teacher’s heart:

I am thankful that I study English
I’m thankful for go to the academy.
I am thankful for that my teachers are give a knowledge
I am thankful that my English teacher are teach me.
I am thankful that I can study
I am thankful that I have to do my homework
I’m thankful for Josh teacher

And in the category of silly English, which reminds me how much work there is to do:

I am thankful that I can see anythings
I’m thankful for many money.
I’m thankful for born in 1990.
I’m thankful for my wear.
I’m thankful for car, because we ride a car, we go fast.
I’m thankful for shoes, because we don’t wear shoes, we hurt our feet
I’m thankfor for telephone, because we say hello for our freinds for telephone
I am thankful that pencil because write a English and Korean letter
Because I learned a lot with they.
Because I can see anything.
Because I learn at books.
I’m thankful for air, rice, head, eye, computer, clothe, money, my house, Korean, pencil, brother, glasses.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[countries: afghanistan]

PA ZANY MAY TAZA
Shakeela Naz
Mastana.netMORAD E DIL
Fawad Ramiz
Kamnoma

MUSLIMS 4 LIFE
Kandahar Prince
Mastana.net

There are 192 countries in the world. Today begins my alphabetical musical journey through all of them. Some, like the United States and the United Kingdom, will be overwhelming in their wealth of material. For others, like Kiribati, it may be hard to find anything at all. Nevertheless, here we go.

It’s fitting that we begin with Afghanistan, which is more or less in the middle of the vast landmass that is Eurasiafrica and has long been a global crossroads. It’s fitting, too, that the music has a rhythm that throws us off balance. Indeed, it’s not just the rhythm: the music itself is a disorienting cross between Greek bouzouki music and North Indian light classical, tied together with the plinky-plinky sound of Central Asia. The merging of Greek, Persian, Central Asian and Indian influence is more or less the story of Afghanistan in a nutshell.

“Morad e Dil,” by Fawad Ramiz, has more of a pop sound to it, but still that whirling rhythm that sounds like it’s from everywhere: the Balkans, North Africa, Pakistan.

The last track, “Muslims 4 Life,” is by the rapper Kandahar Prince, aka Hamid from Upstate, who likes to name-check Schenectady from time to time. I acknowledge that he’s not very good, and one could quibble about whether a rap in English by someone living in Schenectady is genuinely the music of Afghanistan. But as we set out on a musical journey around the world, it’s good to remember that borders are fictions and that cultures are malleable and endlessly overlaid and intermixed — as they have been in Afghanistan since the dawn of time.

I am grateful to Mastana.net for its vast collection of Afghani music, which is provided in an easy-to-browse interface that I thoroughly recommend checking out.