The Interregnum was a dark time. How dark? Your help is needed in figuring that out.
The Interregnum: Its Multiple Causes, Various Personages, and Glorious End is an important scholarly website devoted to the true history of the Interregnum, and it sorely needs people who are willing to make that history up.
[mctatorship]
Recently I had a conversation that turned to politics: specifically, we began to wonder exactly how Mayor McCheese achieved his mandate.
Well, now I know. And it’s not pretty.
Based on this commercial — a rare look into the Hermit Kingdom that is McDonaldland — it appears that the McCheese regime went through the motions of an election, sort of the way the old Soviet Union used to do, and with about the same sense of fair play. Mayor McCheese seems to be running unopposed, but even so, the Hamburglar is busily stuffing ballot boxes. And the real power behind the throne, of course, is Ronald McDonald, Father of the Nation, who tells McCheese what to say, counts the ballots and announces the results.
Actually, this bizarre pastiche of banana-republican politics is one of a series of old McDonald’s commercials that are all deeply bizarre and well worth viewing (via Slate).
[whopper vs. whopper]
Ever order something at a fast food restaurant because the photo on the menu board looks good, and then feel cheated when you get some lumpen beige thing? This phenomenal series of photos is photographic proof that that’s just how it works. (Via BoingBoing.)
[orthodoxy]
Okay, this involves full frontal nudity, which is not something I usually post here, but it was just way too funny not to post. Here you go.
[lost in translation]
Now and again, various diplomats ask me about English idioms or snippets of text that they don’t understand.
Today I got a doozy: the following quotation from the Reverend Ivan Stang of the Church of the SubGenius:
If you sincerely desire a truly, well-rounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and “nutty”. You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middle-of-the-road crap, twenty-four hours a day… no matter what… Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket…even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the telepathic pressure alone, of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well-grounded in consensus reality.
What particularly through my diplomatic colleague was the sentence “You need the balance,” because balance with what?
I did my best to explain that the Reverend Ivan Stang is not in fact one of those inspirational Christian pastors with whom Koreans are so often enamored, but I’m not sure I managed to convey the extent to which Stang is a figure of counterculture and satire — elements of our culture that most Koreans have difficulty grasping anyway.
I followed that up by suggesting that the balance was between the mainstream point of view, which we will learn automatically, and the views of the extremists, which it takes effort to study. I think I got this idea across.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to ask where the diplomat had stumbled across an inspirational quotation from Stang, of all people. But know that the Spirit of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, Jr., has entered the United Nations!
[the terrible power of blinkies]
So have you heard about the bizarre panic over a guerrilla marketing campaign for Cartoon Network’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF)? Looks like they hired a couple of guys to scatter around Boston blinkies depicting one of the Mooninites flipping the bird, and this led to a major bomb scare.
After the two artists were arraigned, they gave a hilarious press conference at which, on national television, they insisted on talking about hairstyles from the seventies.
I do recognize that these ads were genuinely scary to a lot of people and that the city of Boston spent a lot of money making sure they weren’t bombs (Ted Turner has promised to cover the expense). How do we know that terrorists won’t use some goofy design as cover for their deadly devices?
On the other hand, this incident points out the absurdity of living in constant fear of terrorist attacks that happen only rarely, and typically in ways that are meant to elude detection until it’s too late. While Boston’s finest spent the day cleaning up glorified Lite-Brites that were intended to sell a TV show, how many containers came through our ports without any oversight at all? How many illegal guns crossed state lines?
And more importantly, how many terrorist attacks have actually been thwarted by people reporting the glaringly obvious? I know that if I see something, I’m supposed to say something, but is that helping? The only case I can think of is that of Richard Reed, who tried to light his foot on fire in an airplane full of people.
In the meantime, this is probably a good moment for my friends who make blinkies and throwies to lay low. Of course, knowing these particular folks, they’re probably already working out schemes to send New York into utter panic over little flashing doohickeys.
And it should be noted that the Boston response is not the only one possible. In Seattle, the incident failed to cause panic. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:
“To us, they’re so obviously not suspicious,” said King County sheriff’s spokesman John Urquhart. “They’re not suspicious devices or packages. We don’t consider them dangerous.”
Duh.
[not a republic?]
The 423 Smith blog has an exciting post about the Notary District, as it has dubbed the “no man’s land between Park Slope, Red Hook, and Carroll Gardens.” Of course, the Russo Realty signs are a landmark for those of us who regularly use the Smith & 9th St. subway station.
Of course, the times they are a-changin’. Sometime last year, DKNY attempted to get a hold of the fabled Russo for some notarizing action, but there was no response. More ominously, the Dock War boat has been removed, and there are signs of impending construction. For how much longer will Brooklynites delight in the glorious profusion of ineffective marketing that is Russo Realty? (Via Curbed.)
In other neighborhood news, Curbed notes the construction of new housing down where Court St. runs into the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Some of the apartments appear to be practically on the expressway, which would not make for a happy lifestyle. Sometimes you just have to wonder what the developers are smoking.
[genius]
[in other news]
I know, I know. Elections. Elections, elections, elections. But buried under all the hoopla, we’re missing the real news: Britney and Kevin are getting divorced.
I know. I’m in shock too. But somehow I’ll pull through. Let’s just hope our liberal media aren’t so obsessed with a major election that they let this important story fall through the cracks.
