I have seen the best minds
of my generation
destroyed by the white
chickens
glazed with rain
water
Seoul, Korea
I really, really wanted this Engrish to be on purpose, like those PLAN AHEAD signs you see where the ending is all squished. Alas, Designer Miss Kim confirmed that it was just a mistake. In fact, she was selling these notebooks at a discount because they were misprinted. (And let’s not even get into the alright issue.)
Somehow “EVERYTHIG IS ALRIGHT” is both more entertaining and more reassuring than a correctly spelled notebook would have been. Because everything is alright (or all right), even when it’s a little fucked up.
And besides, “EVERYTHIG IS ALRIGHT” is a pretty good approximation of the way I speak Korean.
So, like, hang lose. Purra vida. No wories. Its all good. 괸차나. 다 조아.
Sexy Clap
“Sexy Clap” is a perfectly reasonable thing to call a K-pop song if you don’t know American English slang.
[war … delicious war]
A century of warfare, in food.
[online chats with kim jong-il]
[how we livin’]
If you want to see what it’s like inside Google New York, check out this music video that was put together for our annual talent show. It’s not, you know, good, but it’s kind of funny (funnier if you know our inside jokes, like all office humor), and it’s a chance to see the office I work in.
[chris matthews makes a funny]
I’m no fan of Chris Matthews, who I think is kind of a twit, but it did crack me up when The Daily Show’s Moment of Zen showed him saying of Hillary Clinton, “It’s almost as if she’s the Al Sharpton of white people.” Now that’s comedy.
[schrödinger’s cat garfield]
Have you ever imagined an alternate universe in which Garfield the Cat didn’t exist? The comic strip would still be around — just not the cat.
Well, Garfield Minus Garfield has done the work for you. As the site puts it:
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.
Definitely surreal, and definitely worth a look.
[ann taylor is not for the boys]
Last night I dreamed that I went to work in a new kilt suit — a tweed skirt and matching jacket — and then began to worry that perhaps it was actually just a skirt suit, for a woman. I had to walk all the way across the office, only to discover that my usual morning meeting wasn’t happening. On the way back, two medieval trumpeters, banners draped from their long horns, were performing a fanfare to welcome a lunch provided as a marketing gimmick by Boston Market, which seemed odd considering we can all go to the Google cafeteria.
Then I woke up and found an email in my inbox about a pregnant man (in Australia, though, so it kind of makes sense, because hanging upside-down all day does weird things to those people).
Oh, and I promise not every post from now on will contain the word “Google.” Really. Eventually I’ll be able to think of something else.
[many legs of destruction: a haiku]
Mighty terapede
Coming to destroy Tokyo
I, in terror, peed