[ridin’ nerdy]


When I was maybe 10 or 11, there was this girl at summer camp named Leah Spieler. She had straight brown hair down to her shoulders that curled in at the bottom, feline eyes and pouting lips, and breasts — real, actual breasts — and so I was in love with her. We hadn’t actually talked or anything, but I was still hoping to ask her to the camp dance, so when another boy, taller and more popular than me, beat me to the punch, I was devastated. I spent the night of the dance hiding in my bunk, listening over and over on my Walkman to borrowed cassettes of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s first three albums.

I grew up — learning, among other things, that there is better breakup music in this world than “Slime Creatures from Outer Space” — but thankfully “Weird Al” never did. Today, from DKNY, the link for the video above arrived in my inbox, along with this note:

I’m sort of amazed that he’s managed to sustain a career for, jesus, 23 years now, not to mention that he actually manages to pretty capably flow (shit, better than Fiddy). Plus it references the Star Wars Holiday Special, which I appreciate…

Likewise. And in case you’re not familiar with the original song, it’s “Ridin'” by Chamillionaire, featuring the ever-incomprehensible Krayzie Bone, and you can see the video here.

[a groovy way to sleep]

Raga-Riff by The Punjabs [via Office Naps]

Thanks to Moistworks for alerting me, via soul sides, about an excellent music blog: Office Naps.

Devoted to obscure yet funky 45s, Office Naps offers some truly weird and fascinating music from deep in the archives of our collective musical memory. I particularly enjoyed the post about 1960s sitar grooves. For some reason it pleases me enormously that there was a group called The Punjabs back in the ’60s, even if it was just a name slapped onto a cut by L.A. studio musicians.

Nice. Very nice.

[korean lyrics]

So there’s a rap song in Korean with a funny video. Dandy. But what the hell are they saying?

Until today, I figured the only way I would find out would be through another six years or so of diligent language study. But then I discovered Aheeyah, a database of Korean lyrics translated into English.

It doesn’t have everything — no Crying Nut, for example — but it’s a damn sight better than the nothing I had before.

[fung wah funk]

Chinatown Bus by Project Jenny, Project Jan (EP) [via Gothamist]

China Girl (YouTube) by David Bowie (Let’s Dance)

Feng Shui by Gnarls Barkley (St. Elsewhere) [via undomondo]

Fung Wah, the original Chinatown bus company, may have had some trouble lately, but it’s still the cheapest way to move around the Northeast Corridor — with tolls and gas costing what they do, even driving your own car is more expensive if you’re going solo — and it still carries the frisson of the exotic and forbidden. Plus you don’t have to go to Port Authority, a horrible place that abuts another horrible place. Here’s hoping that the era of cheap travel is merely down but not out.

So, the music. Project Jenny, Project Jan is a Brooklyn duo that offers helpful advice for Fung Wah travelers. David Bowie is some kind of space freak who offers an unhelpful narrative about his little China Girl. And Gnarls Barkley is an enormously hyped duo in goofy costumes who offer what appears to be a paean to the principles of feng shui, the Chinese art of arranging space. (I’m guessing the Lo and the Mouse would not approve of the spacial relations pictured above.)

Bonus by Request: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (St. Elsewhere) [via clever titles are so last summer]

[if it’s in the dictionary, it must be real]

The good folks over at Merriam-Webter — you know, the people who decide what’s American English — have revealed some new words for 2006, among them polyamory, which they define as “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.” Not a bad job for a first go at it, though I’m sure someone somewhere will be writing a furious post to a message board insisting polyamory is something else.

Other excellent new entries include drama queen, manga and ollie.

[the miseducation of cee-lo green]

Trans-DF Express (YouTube) by Dungeon Family (Even in Darkness)

Closet Freak (YouTube) by Cee-lo (Cee-Lo Green and His Perfect Imperfections)

Crazy (YouTube) by Gnarls Barkley (St. Elsewhere)

Cee-lo has finally done it. In the company of Danger Mouse, under the loopy name of Gnarls Barkley, Cee-lo has crafted one of the finest singles ever made. “Crazy” is genius, pure and simple. It achieves its effect without cameos, guitar solos, lengthy intros, psychedelic outros or bootylicious videos, in three minutes that feel like two and are over way too soon. You can dance to it, fall in love to it, break up to it, drive to it. You can play it in front of your kids, but it’s not childish. The lyrics are richly allusive, deeply moving and easy to memorize. “Crazy” harks back to the tight and driving three-minute symphonies of the Phil Spector era. About the only song I can think of from the stereo era that matches its compression and force is “We Will Rock You,” which hits harder but carries less transcendent emotion.

I first discovered Cee-lo in Korea. I was late to the whole Dirty South phenomenon, but in a country where Uhm Jung Hwa’s (엄정화) “DaGaRa (YouTube)” (다가라) was about as funky as things ever got, we were desperate for whatever scraps of American cool came our way. When I caught Dungeon Family’s “Trans-DF Express” on late-night TV, I knew I had to find the album.

Despite its cheeky reference to Kraftwerk’s Trans-Europe Express (YouTube),” “Trans-DF Express” is utterly American and a fine introduction to the startling talents of the Goodie MobOutKast. But even surrounded by so much talent, the unusual voice and lyrics of Cee-lo stood out. His snap ends as follows:

I wouldn’t be amazing without God’s amazing grace / I can travel outer space while standing in one place.

In that one couplet, Cee-lo managed to transcend the default nihilism of mainstream hip-hop, tap into the spiritualist universalism of late-sixties Black Power soul and the sci-fi tropes of seventies funk, and deliver a legitimately evangelical declaration of Christian faith. And all with a slight lisp.

Everywhere he popped up on Even in Darkness, Cee-lo brought something special, so when I caught the video for “Closet Freak” later that year, I ran out and bought his solo record as soon as I could. Unfortunately, Cee-lo Green and His Perfect Imperfections was, well, imperfect. One good single does not an album make, and Cee-lo just couldn’t keep the intensity going over the length of the album. It never made it into my regular rotation, and when his next record came out, I ignored it entirely.

Considering how much the Dungeon Family has done to broaden hip-hop musically, it seems strange to suggest that Cee-lo needed a different producer, but with Danger Mouse he seems to have found his muse. Like its lead-off single, St. Elsewhere is admirable for what it omits — cameos, skits, filler — and for clocking in at just over 38 minutes. It also manages to overcome the limitations of genre, venturing as far afield as “Gone Daddy Gone,” a pretty straight cover of the classic Violent Femmes song, and “Smiley Faces,” which has a beat Andrew Ridgeley could dance to. Admittedly there is nothing else as good as “Crazy.” But then, no one else has produced anything as good this year either.

To read more about this extraordinary song and the many cover versions it has inspired, check out Jody Rosen’s article in Slate.

[the end of the world as we know it]

Russians (YouTube) by Sting (The Dream of the Blue Turtles)

(Nothing But) Flowers (YouTube) by Talking Heads (Naked)

My father has, from time to time, grown wistful about that beautiful period between the invention of the birth control pill and the discovery of AIDS. I try not to think too hard about what this time meant for him specifically — he was, after all, married by 1965, when he was 19 years old — but certainly I see his point.

The time between the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 and the fall of the Twin Towers in 2001 was a kind of political equivalent to that earlier episode. The terrifying spectre of total war, which had grown ever more sinister since it first appeared in 1914, had at last given way, while the postmodern tribal warfare of distant peoples had not yet impinged upon our society in a way we couldn’t ignore.

Five years after 9/11, The Onion’s AV Club has inventoried 8 Musical Artifacts That Capture What Nuclear Paranoia Felt Like At The End Of The Cold War, and it’s a good reminder that though we are now afraid of finding ourselves in the middle of a terrorist bombing or abandoned by the government in the wake of a natural disaster, we are no longer terribly concerned that the end of all civilized existence is imminent (just as the arrival of AIDS didn’t spell the end of the sexual revolution).

When it comes to grandiose statements of late-Cold War paranoia, Sting’s paean to Russian child-loving is pretty much the cream of the crop, and I appreciate The Onion’s point that “this song had the odd effect of criticizing the policy of mutually assured destruction while explaining how it worked.”

A very different and much cleverer post-apocalyptic vision animates the classic Talking Heads song “(Nothing But) Flowers.” It’s a video that makes you keep hitting the pause button so you can read the little facts (which I suspect should be taken with a grain of salt), and it is, in Talking Heads fashion, a very clever little piece of art.

Bonus: New Wave Breakdancing

Crosseyed and Painless by Talking Heads (Remain in Light)

Girl U Want by Devo (Freedom of Choice)

Along with paranoia, the 1980s gave us hip-hop, the pop music sound that in the 1990s took over the world. But back in the early days, before “rap” was a mainstream term for a kind of music, what first got people’s attention was a confluence of dance and visual art: graffiti and breakdancing.

And, curiously, it wasn’t mainstream black artists who embraced it at first — you will find no breakdancing in Prince or Lionel Ritchie videos of the era — but arty white New Wave groups. The two videos above are both from albums that came out in 1980 and both feature breakdancing. The Devo video is not much more than a goofy lark, but the Talking Heads video for “Crosseyed and Painless” is a breakdance ballet of sorts. The video effects are laughable, and the dance has little to do with the actual song, but the dancers are extraordinary. And, for the record, it exhibits significant quantities of moonwalking from well before Michael Jackson released Thriller in 1982.

[bollywood hip-shake]

Hips Don’t Lie (Live at the VMAs) (Google Video) | Hips Don’t Lie (YouTube Video) by Shakira

According to the BBC, Shakira so enjoyed the Bollywood costumes and choreography she tried on (with moderate skill and success) at the MTV Video Music Awards that she is now hoping to do a Bollywood-style music video with that night’s choreographer, Indian director Farah Khan (no relation to Louis Farrakhan).

Considering that Shakira has long blended genres, combining Latin, Middle Eastern, hip-hop and rock music and dance, throwing in a little Bollywood flavor should be easy enough. And I am generally in favor of artists of all stripes dabbling (1, 2, 3) in what I want to call “Indiana” but can’t because a certain Midwestern state has stolen the term. I’m also generally in favor of Shakira’s hips, whose veracity is open to question but whose booty-shakin’ snap-and-shimmy skillz-with-a-Z are not in doubt.

I therefore look forward to seeing how this musical polymath incorporates Bollywood’s masala into her multi-culti stew. (And yes, it is pleasant to think of Shakira as fusion cuisine, isn’t it?)

[koreans in uzbekistan]

There is a beautiful shot about a quarter of the way through the South Korean film Wedding Campaign that captures as well as anything the dislocating loneliness of the foreign. Man-taek, an aging bachelor farmer who has come to Uzbekistan in search of a wife, is standing at his hotel window, gazing out into the Tashkent night; a trolley crawls along the street below, its cables giving off irregular showers of blue-white sparks that light up the empty, alien street. The dancing shadows, the sensation that even light has become something strange and incomprehensible, sent a little chill of recognition through me, and I thought of our first night in Korea, gazing out the car windows at hundreds upon hundreds of red neon crosses floating in the night, their meaning obscure.

Wedding Campaign — the Korean title, Naui Gyeolhon Wonjeonggi (나의 결혼 원전기), more literally translates to “My Arranged Marriage” — is the story of Man-taek (Jeong Jae-yeong/정재영) and his best friend Hee-chul (Yu Jun-Sang/유준상), a taxi driver. They are nearing 40 and unmarried, a near-hopeless situation in Korea, especially in the countryside, whose towns have come to resemble old-age colonies as the young have migrated to Seoul in search of education and opportunity. The opening scenes, which are very funny, introduce us to Man-taek’s aimless, pathetic life of nocturnal emissions, drunken binges and bad karaoke over civil-defense loudspeakers.

Fate intervenes when Man-taek’s grandfather discovers a mysterious being who speaks Korean but looks white, or sort of white, and has to ask about the meanings of certain words. It turns out this strange creature is the new wife of someone in town and is from an unpronounceable place far away: Ooz-bek-eess-tuh? Something like that. Soon Hee-chul is arranging a journey for the two bachelors, through an expensive matchmaking service, to this mysterious country far away where there are Koreans who apparently want to marry aging men from the motherland so they can move there. (The film gives a cursory explanation of how Koreans ended up in Uzbekistan: basically, Stalin deported 172,000 ethnic Koreans from the Far East to Central Asia in 1937 as part of his broader policy of genocide through deportation.)

Once the pair arrives in Tashkent, along with two other bachelors whose stories (and terrible suits) provide additional comedy, there are plenty of twists, turns and complications, but it’s obvious from very early on that Man-taek will forgo the various pretty girls paraded in front of him in favor of his translator, Kim Lara (Ae Su/애수). Indeed, the film falls back on a number of romantic-comedy conventions — the oaf who turns out to be loveable, the agonized howling of separated lovers, the inevitable romantic success of the protagonists — but there are two things that make it all hold together. The first is the unusual plot and setting, involving not just the community of Korean Uzbeks, but also the sleazy business of marriage-fixing for the sake of visas and the precarious situation of Kim Lara, who turns out to be a North Korean refugee who hopes to earn enough to buy a forged South Korean passport. The film was actually shot in Tashkent, and the strangeness of Koreans among mosques, and of mosques among Soviet buildings, lends an atmosphere of unpredictability.

The second strength of the movie is Jeong Jae-yeong’s performance as Man-taek. I’ve always been annoyed by movies about losers or unpopular girls who suddenly get a makeover and get the boy or girl of their dreams, because the character in the initial loser phase is usually played by an attractive, talented actor and is typically more attractive and fun than your average real-world non-loser. The actor just has to switch gears, from playing an oaf to playing a romantic lead, which is something that any capable actor should be able to do.

Jeong Jae-yeong manages to avoid this clichá by playing an oaf who remains an oaf, yet somehow manages to be believably attractive to Kim Lara. Man-taek never ceases to be the sweaty, stuttering, stubborn, sloppy-eating, binge-drinking fool, yet he manages throughout to express an underlying dignity that the audience believes well before Kim Lara falls in love with him.

Adding to the believability of the central romance is the film’s layered examination of what it means to be alone and alienated. Man-taek is never alone — he has a best friend and a family and lives in a small town — but he is nevertheless a man apart, aging into a role for which his society has little respect. His experience of Uzbekistan is, of course, all about being somewhere alien, while Kim Lara, as a North Korean refugee, is also alone in the world, living in fear of discovery by the authorities.

That Lara is North Korean adds to the layers of alienation. In some sense, the Uzbek Koreans are a proxy for the lost Koreans of the North: a group of people who are Korean in a way that is recognizable to South Koreans, yet who are obviously from a different world. There’s a touching moment when Kim Lara takes Man-taek to a Korean restaurant, where the half-starved bachelor wolfs down a meal that is at last familiar. He asks Kim Lara what she thinks of the food and whether it’s too spicy for her (Koreans rightly believe that a lot of foreigners can’t handle the amount of pepper paste they slather on everything). She says it’s delicious, using the formal mode. Man-taek corrects her, telling her she should say it in the informal mode appropriate between friends. Then he grins, with a mouth full of food, and declares that he’s never taught anyone anything before. Kim Lara tells him that whoever he takes back with him to Korea, he should teach her all about South Korean manners and customs.

The obvious emotional subtext, of course, is that Kim Lara secretly wants to be that woman. Less obvious, but perhaps more important, is her own sense of awkwardness in terms of South Korean manners, to the point that a South Korean could mistake her for someone foreign-born. Has the North really drifted so far from the South? It’s hard to know for sure, but we are approaching the time when there will be no one left alive who remembers Korea as a unified entity. (Even today, Koreans who remember an undivided Korea are recalling not a unified independent country but an annexed territory of Japan.) As the language of each country moves in its own direction, as the cultures drift ineluctably apart, will North Koreans become as foreign as Korean Uzbekistanis?

I don’t think they will, but Wedding Campaign manages to hit on a number of Korea’s fears: that its farms will be abandoned, that the countryside will be emptied of young people, that the population as a whole is aging too rapidly, that the North is drifting away. Still, these themes never weigh down the movie, which stays funny and light on its feet while giving its main characters enough depth and complexity to keep the viewer sympathetic. If you have the chance, go see the second showing this Sunday afternoon at BAM Cinematek.